Friday 3 March 2017

The most personal post I've ever published.

Hi friends
It sure has been a while since I last posted!
We're have I been you may ask? Well let me update you on what's been happening the past few months since my last blogpost.
I hope you are comfortable and have a cuppa as this will be a long read as there is a lot to tell you!
I will start with the year 2008 which turned my world upside down.
My husband Stephen was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had a fairly large size tumour on the right kidney that was slow growing for over 5 year's or more and is usually only detected by mistake or with other health Investigations.
Cut a long story short Ste had a major operation to remove the tumor from the kidney and the great thing was he kept his kidney as the tumour was growing on the outside so they took it out froze the kidney cut the tumour off plugged the part were the tumour was with fat then put the kidney back in!
The whole process was just so distressing and such a anxious and worrying time for us all but we got through it and Ste had MRI scans yearly for the past 8 year's and each time he had the MRI he got so claustrophobic until mid last year he requested a CT scan. Going for the results in the hospital consultant's room back in September we had no idea what was coming next!
The cancer had come back and was in the chest area.we didn't know all the relevant information until Ste had a scan and biopsy of the tumour. After more tests and consultations with the specialist a date was set to remove the tumour in his chest which will be major thoracic surgery.
The tumour had been growing in the chest for as long as the tumour in the kidney had been growing! This was secondary cancer from the kidney and slow growing.
A week went by and the hospital called on the Monday to say they had a cancellation and could Ste come on the Wednesday which was all a rush but we agreed and tried to prepare for the days to come!
I am extremely close to my husband and daughter Kim, and Kim has always been a tower of strength to me when I've needed her but I knew this was going to take all the strength and support we had to get through this together!
The day we took Ste to the hospital to be admitted my lovely sister in law Linda came with us to give us support and any help she could and to be honest she gave us such love care and support we could have not got through the coming days without her, Linda was amazing!
It was so difficult to say goodbye to Ste at the hospital the day before surgery but being the type of man he is I knew he would be strong and get through this, little did I know just what was about to happen! The day before surgery Ste had met with the anaesthetist to discuss pain relief and a plan which was a paravertebral block would be used as his pain relief, we told him Ste also suffers with sleep apnea and after eye surgery a couple of years back there was a minor complication with the tubing in the airways anyway the anaesthetist reassured us he will take care of him.
Day of surgery we wanted to get up to the hospital as soon as we could,and we also needed Linda for support as my anxiety and stress levels was high and it was such a comfort to have her there with us! On our way there the anaesthetist  rang me told me the surgery was a success and the tumour was stuck in a lymph node and they removed all the nodes surrounding the tumour as well,then he went on to tell me Ste had complications after surgery with his airways he had a team on standby to do a tracheostomy incase they could not get him breathing luckily enough they managed to get the breathing tube back and as a result he was placed in ICU ward and was getting closely monitored.
I was relieved but so worried knowing where he was is pretty serious!
We got to the ward and there was a specialist nurse sat behind a small desk  at the end of his bed, I approached her and asked how he was doing? She told me everything was fine and Ste was still under anaesthetic but they will try to wake him later. I was so glad to see him but seeing him with machines and tubes and wires all around him was very concerning.
We all took turns to sit with him as only 2 to a bed at each time, we noticed he was acting strange body twitching and slightly convulsing and eyes opening rolling,the nurse told us this is normal so a few hours passed and they tried to wake him up still with the tube in his mouth, 
He was trying to tell us something but could not speak and they told us they was putting him back under anaesthetic as he was in distress.
A short time after (15mins) he woken up! Shortly after they removed the tubing and he could talk he told us he was in pain and could hear everything we was saying earlier when he was supposed to be under anaesthetic! The nurse told us he was on pain relief and will experience some pain.
The specialist came round told us everything went well and the tumour was removed and no further treatment is needed.
We stayed till early evening and decided to go home.
Next day Ste rang me and told me the nurse whom just came on her shift had examined Ste and noticed he was NOT connected to the paravertebral! She immediately notified the pain management team.
No wonder he was trying to tell us something but we didn't know! We assumed being on a high dependency ward everything would be correct.this wasn't so! A formal investigation was taken and there was a human error that when Ste had breathing difficulties after surgery they had to cap the paravertebral line but when being transferred to the ICU ward it was not reconnected and sadly the anaesthetist had it on file but did not inform the staff. For this the hospital has apologised and steps have been put in place so this does not happen to anyone else.
There was more to add, but this post would have been far to long.
Ste will now continue to get full body scans regularly and hopefully no cells have been left.we are so grateful to the staff at the hospital even though they made a terrible mistake and I hope this does not sound as if we aren't grateful in any way after all they did save his life and remove the cancer for this I feel so lucky to have him and if any of you have ever been effected by cancer you will know just how awful this disease is and how it effects everyone close.
All this has happened so fast and we haven't really processed it all properly, it will take time and for Ste he just finished his counseling sessions to help him.
I will be starting my counseling sessions shortly.
I just wanted to tell you all what's been happening in my life and that I wish I could have kept blogging but I just couldn't find the energy or the motivation even though I've missed doing my nailart and various posts I feel I can now things have settled I can finally get back to blogging again and doing what I love! After all this blog is not just an outlet for me but also a way to connect to all my loyal followers.
I will be back with some reviews and nailart shortly watch this space! Thanks for taking the time to read this have a great day!

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